Silent Hearts
by Alexiel Reborn
Summary: Kenshin is trying to find a way to tell Kaoru he loves her, but he still thinks he's unworthy. (the little cute idiot).Then someone else comes along and tells Kaoru he loves her. Very much fluff! k&k [completed]
1. Teardrops

~Ok this is my fifth Kenshin and Kaoru fic I think. I know I haven't finished any of my other ones, but I promise to try and finish this one! I'll try hard! I already have the majority of this story written out on paper and I know how I am going to end it. (I'm bad at finishing things..) ~  
  
Silent Hearts:  
  
Chapter One: Teardrops  
  
A teardrop fell slowly onto the ground shattering the still silence into shards of hardened time. That single teardrop belonged to a young woman kneeling on the ground of a certain dojo. To be specific it was the Kamiya dojo and the young woman was Kaoru Kamiya. There was no particular reason that Kaoru was crying. She just simply was. She had been very depressed lately and she didn't know why. All she knew was that she felt an ebbing emptiness in her heart that had been growing stronger and stronger each day.  
  
She brushed her raven black hair out of her eyes, annoyed that she was actually sitting in her room crying. There were so many other things to get done and her she was moping around in her room. She sighed and brushed away her tears with one swift movement of her hand, but still more came to follow.  
  
A red haired man sat on his knees in the yard of the Kamiya dojo. His rough callused hands scrubbed away at an old kimono. The man, Kenshin as he was called, brushed his bangs out of his troubled violet eyes. He sighed heavily and returned to his chore of washing the laundry. On his mind was a certain black haired girl.  
  
When he had finished scrubbing the clothes, he rinsed them thoroughly before hanging them out to dry. Rising from his job he brushed his hands off on his old worn magenta gi. He was lost in his thoughts when he wandered back into the house. He should start dinner about now and he should probably make extra because Sano was most likely to show up this evening. But first before he made supper he should probably change his clothes. When doing the laundry he had slipped and splashed himself.  
  
As he made his way down the dusty hallway he heard a peculiar noise. It sounded like someone crying maybe. Kenshin paused for a second, taking in everything about his surroundings. The noise seemed to be coming from Kaoru's room. He stepped closer to the door to listen intently. Yes indeed it was Kaoru crying in her room. His heart beat painfully. Why would Kaoru be crying?  
  
He knocked softly on the door. "Miss Kaoru, is anything the matter?" He said anxiously, his voice full of worry.  
  
Kaoru froze when she heard his voice. She scolded herself. 'Great going Kaoru, now he heard you crying and he's going to be worried!'  
  
But part of her was glad that Kenshin was worried. She was glad that he cared so much for her. She didn't know how to respond to his question so all that came out was a confused sob.  
  
Kenshin was even more worried now. He knew for sure that something was wrong. Was it something he had done? Had he done something that had hurt her? He needed to know what caused her so much pain. He rested his palm against the door. "May I come in, Miss Kaoru?"  
  
Kaoru tried to brush away all her tears and she opened the door with a smile on her face. Kenshin could tell that this smiled was forced and that worried him more than her brushed away tears.  
  
"Yes? What is it that you want Kenshin?" she said with fake cheerfulness.  
  
Kenshin contemplated over her tone of voice. She was trying to hide something from him, but why and what was it that she was hiding?  
  
"I just wanted to make sure you were ok." Kenshin said in a concerned voice.  
  
Kaoru's composure cracked at his words and silent tears began to flow gently down her pale cheeks. In embarrassment she turned away and buried her face in her hands. She expected him to leave her then, but she was surprised to feel the warm comforting weight of his hand on her shoulder.  
  
Kenshin felt a sadness drift over his heart when he saw tears glowing on her cheeks. Without thinking he placed a hand on her shoulder. Slowly she turned to look at him. her sapphire eyes caught his gaze and held him prisoner. He couldn't help but notice how amazingly beautiful she looked when she was sad. She was like a tragic angel. Her black hair loosened from its normal ponytail hung gently around her pale face and accented her beautiful eyes. She looked so pure and innocent. He caught his breath for a second at the sight, but quickly erased the thoughts from his mind.  
  
He was surprised when she collapsed against him and begun to sob. With one hand she clenched tightly onto his gi, her tears soaking him. Kenshin brought his arm around her back and clenched her against him while he brushed her hair gently with his other hand. He sighed as he held her, enjoying the feeling of her body against his.  
  
After a few minutes Kenshin gently lifted her face so that she was looking into his eyes.  
  
"Why are you crying, Miss Kaoru?" he asked his eyes intense.  
  
Kaoru trembled slightly in his arms all her emotions welling up at once. "I'm..I'm so lonely..." she managed to get out before she broke into more sobs.  
  
Kenshin brushed her cheek softly causing her to blush.  
  
"There is no reason for you to be. I am always here for you." he said as he gently released her from his arms.  
  
"Wait!" Kaoru said as he turned to leave the room.  
  
He turned back to look at her, his long red bangs partially covering his face. "Yes, Miss Kaoru? Is there something else?"  
  
"Thank you, Kenshin. I think I'll be all right now." She said her tears finally coming to an end.  
  
Kenshin smiled tenderly. "I'm glad. Well I should probably go start dinner now."  
  
Kaoru watched him silently as he left. Her hand shaking, she brought it up to where Kenshin had touched her cheek remembering his tender smile.  
  
Kenshin rummaged through the kitchen getting out various ingredients to prepare tonight's dinner with. Was Kaoru really that lonely? He had always known her to be a strong girl. She had survived so long without a mother and then after her father had died...She had to be strong, carrying on the legacy of the Kamiya Kasshin style after she had been abandoned by her students.  
  
Kenshin was so occupied with his thoughts of Kaoru that he didn't notice that he had set his sleeve on fire till he felt a searing pain in his arm. He quickly stifled the flames, but not without losing a bit of his sleeve and burning part of his arm.  
  
"It's nothing that serious. I'll treat it later. I better finish up dinner now before Yahiko starts to complain." He said to himself as he went back to his cooking. 


	2. Deep Thoughts

Silent Hearts:  
  
Chapter Two: Deep Thoughts  
  
Kaoru looked at everyone around the table as they began to eat. Yahiko, her apprentice, was currently stuffing his face as fast as he could along with Sano, the former fighter for hire, Zanza. Her glance then turned to Kenshin who sat eating his own portion politely, commenting once or twice about the speed of Yahiko's eating.  
  
"So, Missy, you sure are quiet this evening." Sano commented as the last bit of food was consumed.  
  
Kaoru woke from her reverie, startled by the statement.  
  
"I'm just tired, that's all." She said quickly. She could feel Kenshin's gaze boring into her and she shifted uncomfortably.  
  
As though sensing her uneasiness Kenshin broke his gaze and stared down at his hands which lay clenched tightly in his lap. He knew that there was still something she was hiding from him and he wanted to know what it was. He wanted to be there for her, to comfort her and tell her everything was going to be ok. He had never felt this strongly for anyone, even Tomoe. Kaoru was different than any other person that he knew. Kaoru was special to him.  
  
It was then that Kaoru noticed his blackened sleeve. She pulled back the fabric on his arm to discover a slight burn.  
  
"What happened?" Kaoru said her voice slightly unstable.  
  
Kenshin pulled his arm away, not wanting her to worry.  
  
"It is nothing. I was deep in thought while I was cooking and I got a little burn, that's all."  
  
A little frown appeared on Kaoru's face. "Please let me treat it. It could get infected."  
  
As Kenshin stared into her eyes he couldn't help, but fall prey to their spell once again. "All right then."  
  
By the time Kaoru returned with the bandages and ointment, Sano and Yahiko had already disappeared off to somewhere. Probably to avoid the chore of cleaning up the dishes from dinner.  
  
Kaoru gently lifted up his sleeve, causing him to wince a little. It seemed that the burn had been a little worse than he had previously assumed. Kaoru carefully spread the ointment on the burn and wrapped it.  
  
"Thank you, Miss Kaoru." He said softly as he stood up and began to walk away, but her next words froze him.  
  
"Have you ever wondered what it would be like if we had never met?" she asked quietly.  
  
Kenshin's heart clenched in his chest. If they had never met? Could she possibly mean that she regretted meeting him?  
  
"What I mean is.. if I hadn't stopped you that day in the alley I would have never known you." Kaoru continued.  
  
"Would you rather have had it been that way?" Kenshin said his throat constricting roughly.  
  
Kaoru stared up at him a look of horror planted on her face. "I didn't mean it like that. I don't think I could live without you." Then Kaoru caught herself and she blushed then turned away.  
  
Kenshin tensed more at these words. She couldn't live without him? Could that possibly mean..  
  
Late that night Kaoru lay in bed thinking. That sense of emptiness was threatening to overwhelm her again as it usually did at night. She clenched on tightly to her sleeping robe as she stood up and stepped out to the cool night. She nearly jumped when she saw a figure standing secretly in the moonlight, but it was just Kenshin.  
  
Kenshin sensed Kaoru's presence behind him, but he stood still and continued to stare up at the stars.  
  
Kaoru slowly walked up to stand next to Kenshin. "The stars are so beautiful tonight." She said softly.  
  
Kaoru was right. The stars glimmered like crystals splashed on soft blue velvet. Kenshin glance down at her face, which shimmered in the moonlight. 'But there is nothing more beautiful than her' he thought to himself.  
  
"Aren't you cold?" Kenshin asked noticed that she only wore her thin sleeping robe.  
  
Kaoru shivered as though she had just realized that chill in the air. "I should probably go in, shouldn't I?" Kaoru said even though she didn't move. She was reluctant to leave Kenshin and have the loneliness return to her.  
  
"May I ask something, Miss Kaoru?" Kenshin said hesitantly.  
  
Kaoru looked at him curiously. "Anything, Kenshin."  
  
"Is there anything that you are hiding from me?" He asked apologetically for his straightforward question.  
  
Kaoru sighed. "Yes."  
  
Kenshin didn't press her for any more information, though he needed it desperately. She would tell him when she was ready.  
  
"I think I'll go inside now." Kaoru said as she stepped away from Kenshin.  
  
Kenshin sadly watched her go. He knew he had no right to prey into her private business. He had many secrets that he kept from her, many dark secrets, but this time was different. He could see that whatever Kaoru was holding back from him was hurting her deeply. He couldn't stand to see her in pain. He was going to do whatever it took to get rid of her sadness.  
  
Kaoru lay in bed again curled up in the blankets. She was trying to figure out just what was bothering her so much. She had figured out so far that it had something to do with Kenshin, but whenever she thought about him she got confused. It seemed her emotions would go haywire. It didn't make any sense.  
  
Kenshin stayed outside for a while longer contemplating his feelings. He knew by now that he was in love with Kaoru, but he was reluctant to tell her that. He didn't deserve a wonderful person like Kaoru. Also he wasn't even sure if she felt the same way. She couldn't be with him anyway. He was too dangerous. He was putting her at risk just staying her at the dojo.  
  
Then Kenshin thought of an idea. He went inside and found a piece of paper and scribbled something down on it. Carefully he slid it under Kaoru's door and paused for a moment, listening intently. He could hear Kaoru's steady breathing from inside. He hoped that she wouldn't be too angry with him.  
  
Kaoru woke early the next morning and yawned loudly. She slipped out of bed and pulled on her practicing gi and hakama. She paused when she saw a little piece of white paper lying on the floor. With a great sense of dread she slowly walked over to stand above it. Hesitantly she reached down and picked it up, her hand shaking as though she already knew what it contained.  
  
"Dear Miss Kaoru,  
  
I'm afraid that I will have to leave for a while. There are some things I need to find out. Don't blame yourself for this. It's nothing that you have done. There are things about my past that I still need to straighten out. Don't worry I will return, that I will. I swear to you that I will come back to you once I have found my answer.  
  
Kenshin"  
  
Kaoru slid down to the floor the piece of paper clenched tightly against her chest. 


	3. If Only Kenshin Was Here

~To answer your question, whispering romance, Tomoe is who Kenshin used to be in love with, I think. I haven't actually seen that part, but I've heard a lot about her, so I thought I might as well put her in there.~  
  
Silent Hearts:  
  
Chapter Three: If Only Kenshin Was Here  
  
Kenshin adjusted his small pack on his shoulders and continued down the dusty road. He took note of the approaching dawn. Kaoru would probably be waking up soon. He prayed that she wouldn't be mad at him. He really just needed some time away from everything to clear out his mind and figure out just what his feelings were.  
  
Kaoru burst, sobbing, into the kitchen where Yahiko and Sano had congregated to raid the cupboards of food. They both looked up with food stuffed halfway into their mouths when Kaoru ran in.  
  
"What's wrong, little Missy?" Sano said as he swallowed the food in his mouth.  
  
Kaoru shoved the letter into his hands. Yahiko and Sano quickly scanned it over.  
  
"I don't think you have anything to worry about. He said he'll come back." Sano said encouragingly.  
  
"Yeah, If Kenshin says he'll do something than he will. Hasn't he always kept his promises?" Yahiko added wiping the crumbs of his face.  
  
Kaoru sat down and brushed away the tears. "I guess but..I don't want him to be gone." She said quietly.  
  
Sano put a hand on her shoulder. "There's nothing to worry about. Kenshin's not the kinda guy to just break his promises...and by the way...do you think you could lend me some money?" Sano said hopefully, a look of innocence on his face.  
  
Kaoru fumed and banged him on the head. "NO and you own me for all the food you just ate too."  
  
Sano grumbled and left to go do some gambling. Maybe he would actually get something this time.  
  
Kaoru walked back to her room, but before she got there she paused to look in Kenshin's room.  
  
'Why did you have to leave Kenshin? I know I'm being selfish, but I didn't realize how much I really needed you until now.' Kaoru thought as she wandered through his room. She could see flashes of memories of all the times she had spent with Kenshin. When they had first met in that alleyway, when he walked in on her in the bath, when he had decided to stay, that was just the beginning if everything they had been through. Yes, some of the memories were painful, but she never wanted to forget them. Each and everyone was precious to her and she wanted to hold onto them. Kenshin had always been there for her when she needed him most. She needed him to come back or else she felt like she would fall apart.  
  
The sun slowly set covering the silent forest in an orange glow. Kenshin sighed and dropped down onto the leafy ground and rubbed his aching feet. It had been a long time since he had walked this far in these conditions. It made him remember his wandering years. He began to set up camp, making a fire out of some fallen branches and pulling out a blanket which he would be sleeping on. He had picked out a clearing to camp in, near a little gurgling stream.  
  
After Kenshin had a little something to eat he wandered over to the back of the stream. Taking off his sandals and rolling up his hakama, he walked into the icy cool waters. Quickly he washed his face and feet, wiping the grime of his traveling away.  
  
By the time he finished washing and returned to the fireside the stars already shone brightly in the dark sky. He gazed up at them, lying on his blanket with his arms crossed behind his head. He sighed and closed his eyes, only to be plagued with images of Kaoru. They were images of all the different times they had spent together, all the times he had see her laugh and all the times he had seen her cry. He opened his eyes again to clear his head of these memories. They made him feel so lonely, but he couldn't go back yet, he couldn't look at her face without feeling guilty of his want for her. Never had he loved someone so much before and it was really killing him inside, not being able to tell her or show her how much he cared for her. He needed some space to figure things out for himself, but now that he had it he wanted nothing more than to see her again.  
  
~Earlier that Evening~  
  
"Am I supposed to eat this poison!" said Yahiko incredulously as he picked up a piece of charred rice to prove his point.  
  
"Well Kenshin isn't here to cook for us so don't complain." Kaoru said angrily as she began to tear up.  
  
Yahiko tried to swallow a bite, but began to choke.  
  
"Hey, where's Sano tonight?" Kaoru said oblivious to Yahiko's condition.  
  
Yahiko managed to swallow and answered hoarsely, "He figured that you were cooking tonight so he decided that he would rough it out by himself."  
  
The hand holding her chop sticks clenched tightly and trembled. "Yahiko, you're in charge of cleaning up the mess from dinner!" Kaoru said trying to control her rage as she walked quickly from the room.  
  
"The nerve of those selfish pigs!" Kaoru yelled as she charged into her room and slammed the door behind her. Then slowly her anger faded away to sadness.  
  
"If only Kenshin were here." She whispered softly. She sighed and slowly removed her kimono and put on a sleeping robe. Could it possibly be that she was..in love...with Kenshin?  
  
As Yahiko surveyed the mess that Kaoru had made of the kitchen he said to himself. "If only Kenshin were here."  
  
~This one is slightly shorter than my other ones, but I wanted to get this part up. So sorry, and I'll try to update soon! ~- 


	4. Yukimura

Silent Hearts:  
  
Chapter Four: Yukimura  
  
Kenshin woke the next morning and had a quick breakfast before heading out again. He had not clue where he was going. He was just wandering. He was trying to figure out how he could possibly deal with his love for Kaoru. He couldn't tell her. He couldn't face it if she rejected him, but even if she did love him back, he could not allow her to be with him. She was so young and innocent. He did not deserve such a sweet girl as her.  
  
Kaoru woke the next morning achy and groggy. She hadn't slept very well last night. She couldn't stop thinking about her newly discovered love for Kenshin, but how did she know it was true? How could she possibly tell? Kaoru stood up and carefully got dressed into a pale lavender kimono since she was going to the market today. She had burnt up all the rice that they had when she attempted to make supper last night.  
  
When she reached the yard Yahiko ran up to her, a question on his face. "Why are you dressed like that? Aren't you going to train me this morning?" Yahiko asked his bokken slung over his shoulder.  
  
"I'm going to the market. We can train later!" she said irritably and walked out of the dojo without a second glance.  
  
In the marketplace Kaoru quickly bought the necessary items. She didn't want to linger in the crowds for long. She hurried down the streets, the dust settling onto her kimono, annoying her even more. Then out of now where came a man standing right in front of her. She wasn't fast enough so she ended up running right into him. All the things she had just bought went flying out of her bag and onto the floor.  
  
Kaoru sighed and bent down to pick up an item at the same time the man did. Their hands touched for a second and Kaoru blushed and looked up to see just who this man was. He was a tall, skinny man if maybe 22 or 23. He had long black hair held back in a ponytail that accented his friendly blue eyes. She couldn't help, but notice how handsome he was and she felt kind of guilty.  
  
The man smiled and handed her back her bag. "I'm truly sorry for that miss." He said softly. She could tell he had a kind soul.  
  
"It's..ok.." Kaoru mumbled blushing deeper and clenching her bag tighter in her hands.  
  
"May I walk you home?" The man asked as he helped her stand back up.  
  
"I'm not sure." Kaoru said hesitantly.  
  
"I insist, my lady. It's the least I can do." He said, his eyes sparkling.  
  
Kaoru looked him over and there was nothing in the least bit threatening about him. "Well.ok then..but call me Kaoru."  
  
"Kaoru what a beautiful name. Mine is Yukimura." He said as they began to walk.  
  
Kaoru blushed even hotter and walked quietly along his side. She couldn't help, but feel she was betraying Kenshin by walking with this man. But then again it wasn't like she asked him to. He was the one who insisted on walking with her.  
  
"So what does a pretty girl like you do anyway?" Yukimura asked politely as he took her bag from her to carry.  
  
"Umm.I'm the assistant master at the Kamiya dojo." She said shyly.  
  
"Oh. That sounds interesting. What's it like to teach students?" he asked.  
  
Kaoru looked into her face. He looked truly curious about her.  
  
"Well.I have only one student now, but.."  
  
Yukimura and Kaoru talked politely all the way to the dojo. He was kind and good spirited and quite funny also.  
  
They stopped at the gates of the dojo. Smiling, he handed her back her bag.  
  
"Goodbye, Kaoru. I hope you have luck in finding more students." Yukimura said as he turned to leave, but Yahiko burst out to greet them.  
  
"Ugly! Where has you been? I've been waiting for hours." He said. Then he noticed Yukimura. "Hey, who's that guy, Kaoru?"  
  
Kaoru flushed, embarrassed. "Yahiko this is Yukimura, and Yukimura this is Yahiko, my apprentice."  
  
Yahiko looked at him suspiciously. "Where'd you met up with him?"  
  
"I happened to bump into Kaoru in the market and offered to walk her home." Yukimura said kindly.  
  
"Well, I better go inside and get lunch started so." Kaoru began, but Yahiko interrupted.  
  
"I don't think I can stand you horrible cooking one more time!" Yahiko complained loudly.  
  
Kaoru blushed and trembled trying to control her anger in front of Yukimura.  
  
Then Yahiko got an idea. "Hey, Kaoru, how about Yukimura stays for a while and maybe cooks lunch for us?"  
  
"Don't be so rude Yahiko! We could never ask him to do that." She said embarrassed that he would even suggest something like that.  
  
"I would love to Yahiko, if that would be all right with you, Kaoru." Yukimura said much to Kaoru's surprise.  
  
"Well.Ok then." Kaoru said still shocked.  
  
Yahiko cheered. "Yay! No more charred rice!"  
  
Yukimura laughed and they all went into the dojo..  
  
The sun beat down heavily on Kenshin as he walked down a dusty road. He sighed and brushed his long bangs out of his eyes. He was surprised to see an elderly woman sitting on the side of the road. He approached her slowly.  
  
"Excuse me, madam, are you all right?" He asked, concerned for her.  
  
The old woman smiled up at him. "Such a polite you man. If you have the time, do sit by me." She said patting the ground next to her.  
  
Kenshin set his pack down on the ground and sat down. The woman noticed the sword at his side and cackled a laugh. "A swordsman, are you? You seem too nice a fellow to be such, but I guess you have your reasons. So what's your problem? I can tell you one."  
  
"Oro?" he said in confusion.  
  
"I mean, what's your story. Why are you wandering around these parts? Come on boy, everyone has a story. I may hear things, but I never tell them." The old woman said with another laugh.  
  
Kenshin blinked a couple times, and then began to speak.  
  
"I did some horrible things in the past, things that I cannot possibly repent for. I became a wanderer, and traveled by myself for ten years till I met up with Miss Kaoru" he said wondering why he was revealing all this. He didn't even know this woman.  
  
"Ahh... I can see where this is going. Continue." The woman encouraged.  
  
"Miss Kaoru was a wonderful person, determined and brave. She let me stay at her dojo. Then Yahiko came along, now her apprentice and then Sano. It finally seemed like I had a family, a home that I belonged to. But then Miss Kaoru got hurt because of me, because of my past. I can never forgive myself for all I put her through when I was forced to go off to battle. So now I decided to take a journey to figure out some answers of my own." Kenshin finished.  
  
"Hmm, I have one question for you, boy. Do you love this Kaoru?" the old woman asked.  
  
Kenshin paused for a moment. "..Yes..I do, but I am not worthy to be with her. And anyway she can't possibly love me back." Kenshin said his head lowered and his voice saddened.  
  
"Oh fiddlesticks! You are worthy of her! You seem liked such a nice boy. I can't see why she wouldn't love you. You have to tell her how you feel, before it too late and you lose her forever. Believe me, I know." The woman said her voice turning bitter.  
  
Kenshin mulled over those words in his head. His confidence was growing, fueled by the woman's words. He stood up and grabbed his pack.  
  
"Thank you for your wise words, but I must be going now."  
  
The old woman laughed to herself as she watched him leave. "Good luck, Shinta." 


	5. Numb

~Sorry I haven't been updated a lot, I have had family over at my house and I haven't got a second to myself, or to the computer. And I think I'll let you figure out who the old woman is and how she knows Kenshin! ^_^~  
  
Chapter Five: Numb  
  
Kenshin slowly made his way back the way he had come from. He knew now what he had to do. He couldn't keep it secret any longer. He looked around the surrounding area. It looked slightly familiar from something else. Then he realized that it was because a friend of his lived nearby. He should probably go visit him since he was in the area.  
  
Kaoru, Yukimura, and Yahiko all sat around the dinner table eating Yukimura's good food.  
  
"Wow, this is pretty good." Kaoru said grabbing more to stuff into her bowl.  
  
"I'm glad you like it, Kaoru." Yukimura said a smile on his handsome face.  
  
"Yeah. It's almost as good as Kenshin's cooking!" Yahiko said without thinking, and then clamped a hand over his mouth.  
  
Kaoru dropped her bowl which crashed to the floor and shattered into pieces. "Excuse me for a second," she said her voice trembled as she ran from the room.  
  
Yukimura frowned after her, worried. "Is she going to be alright?"  
  
Yahiko sighed. "I don't know. I shouldn't have mentioned Kenshin."  
  
"Who's Kenshin?" Yukimura asked curiously.  
  
"Kenshin used to live here, but he left on a journey just about a day or so ago." Yahiko said quietly.  
  
"Were they..together, Kenshin and Kaoru?" he asked casually.  
  
Yahiko looked at him curiously, wondering why he would ask such a thing. Then he laughed. "Kenshin and Kaoru together! That would be ridiculous!" Yahiko said, giggling.  
  
Kaoru ran to her room and shut the door behind her. What was she doing having another man here? She felt like she was betraying Kenshin. She clenched her heart and slid to the floor. She missed him so much. She didn't know if she could make it through the pain. "Oh Kenshin where are you?" she cried out softly.  
  
Once Yukimura had finished helping Yahiko clean up the dishes he decided that he should probably go home.  
  
"I better leave now. Give my goodbyes to Kaoru." Yukimura said waving goodbye.  
  
"All right. Come back and visit sometime!" Yahiko said waving goodbye.  
  
"Ok." Yukimura answered.  
  
Sano walked down the streets towards the Kamiya dojo. He thought it would be a good time to check if Kaoru was doing alright. Then he saw a man with long black hair exit the dojo. Sano stepped in front of him.  
  
"Hey, what were you doing in there and who are you?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"My name is Yukimura and I just stopped by to visit Kaoru." He said wondering who Sano was.  
  
Sano grabbed him by the collar and pulled him over to the side of the road, and sat him down on the ground.  
  
"I need to have a little talk with you." Sano said sitting down next to him, hoping that this man didn't decide to chase after Kaoru. Not that it mattered to him, but it mattered a lot to Kenshin. He knew that Kenshin was deeply in love with Kaoru and he was pretty sure Kaoru felt the same way, so he wasn't going to let some prettyboy ruin it for them. Kenshin had been through a lot, and he deserved Kaoru. Sano knew that Kenshin would just let this man take Kaoru from him because Kenshin was too damn polite. So he had to do something.  
  
"Talk to me about what? Are you one of Kaoru's suitors?" Yukimura asked in a worried tone.  
  
"No, I'm not interested in her like that, but the little Missy is like a sister to me and I want to know if you intend to want to court her." Sano asked.  
  
Yukimura sighed. "I've only known her for a few hours, but I think I am falling in love with her."  
  
Sano became worried. "Now listen to me Yukimura, I suggest that you don't pursue these 'feelings'."  
  
Yukimura looked hurt and confused. "But I thought you weren't."  
  
"That doesn't matter. You just leave her alone or else." Said Sano as he stood up and walked into the dojo.  
  
"But I can't." Yukimura said quietly as he stood up and made his way slowly home.  
  
Sano wandered into the dojo to find Yahiko sitting on the steps looking bored.  
  
"Hey, what's happening Yahiko? Why aren't you training with the missy?" Sano asked sitting down next to him.  
  
"She's in her room crying again." Yahiko said.  
  
"Damn." Sano said under his breath. That stupid Kenshin. He better get back here soon.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The next morning Kenshin waved goodbye to his old friend. He had spent the night in his house, catching up on old times and gaining confidence for what he was going to do.  
  
Kenshin looked at the pale sun just rising about the horizon. He should be able to reach the dojo by late night if he kept up a good pace.  
  
The summer was fading away into fall. It was obvious. Already the leaves were beginning to grow orange and red at the tips and a cool wintry breeze flew through the air. Kenshin shivered in the pre-day light and hurried his steps faster. Never had he wanted to be back so much, never had he wanted to be back.home.at the dojo. They say home is where the heart is and Kenshin's heart was with Kaoru.  
  
Kaoru slowly opened her tired eyelids, groaning as the sunlight hit her in the eyes. Quickly she raised one hand blocking the shafts of light from reaching her face. She sighed and sat up in her futon. Her hair which she had forgotten to braid last night, hung limp on her shoulders. Another day without Kenshin. She didn't know how much longer she could stand. It didn't make any sense, but without Kenshin's presence she felt like life had no point and was totally worthless.  
  
She slowly got up and dressed in to her working gi and hakama, stifling a jaw cracking yawn on her way out the door. She looked a second in the kitchen then decided that she wasn't hungry. She felt too numb inside, as though she could no longer want something. So instead she headed out to the training hall and started doing exercises with her bokken.  
  
Sweat poured down her body as she continued till the sun was high in the sky. Each time she swung that bokken it seemed like she was able to forget everything that had gone wrong with her life. She could feel a deeper numbness take her over and she was glad. As long as she felt nothing, she couldn't be hurt anymore.  
  
~Just to say something: I saw the Last Samurai, last night, and it reminded me a lot of Kenshin. Except for I thought Kenshin was much better. I didn't like tom cruise in it, but I thought it was a very interesting view on their culture. ~ 


	6. Someone I'm Waiting For

Chapter Six: Someone I'm Waiting For  
  
Kaoru finally stopped her exercises when Yahiko came wandering in.  
  
"Are you going to give me a lesson today?" he asked eyeing Kaoru.  
  
Kaoru was already covered in sweat, causing her clothes to stick to her body. She was a little out of breath, considering she had been practicing for the last few hours non-stop. Her arms felt wobbly and unstable as she finally lowered her bokken.  
  
"Later today, maybe. But for now go heat the bath for me, please." Kaoru said wearily.  
  
"Do I have to?" Yahiko whined.  
  
"JUST DO IT!" Kaoru said, absolutely no shred of patience left in her.  
  
Yahiko rushed off to do as she said.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kaoru slipped into the hot water and sighed with relief. All her aches and pains seemed to disappear under the soothing touch of the hot water. All except for one, that was. The ache in her heart would just not go away. She was absolutely sure that she was in love with Kenshin. If only he was here right now. But he wasn't here. He was off on a journey to find his 'answer'. She had no clue when he would return. It could be years! That was what truly frightened her.  
  
Finally Kaoru managed to drag herself out of the bath, even more tired than before. Walking back out to the yard she ran into Yahiko.  
  
"Hey, aren't you going to make lunch? It's way past time and I'm starving!"  
  
"Go find something to eat yourself! I'm too tired right now!" Kaoru snapped grumpily as she walked back into the house.  
  
Yahiko stared after her, a frown on his face. He didn't have time to do anything else because there was a loud knock on the front gate. He opened the gate to see Yukimura standing outside with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.  
  
"Is Kaoru here?" he asked slightly nervous.  
  
"Yeah, I'll go get her. Just was here for a second." Yahiko said, rolling his eyes. Why would he bring flowers?  
  
Kaoru walked quickly to the front gate wondering why Yukimura would have come, especially since she had been so rude last night, Yahiko had decided to go off to find some food, so Kaoru was all alone when she approached Yukimura. He smiled at her, handsome as ever and pulled out some flowers.  
  
Kaoru gasped, surprised. They were beautiful, small and delicate blue blooms. Tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes, remembering Kenshin every second.  
  
"These are for you, Kaoru. I know it's a bit sudden, since we've only known each other for a day...." Yukimura began eagerly, but Kaoru gently handed back the flowers.  
  
"I...I can't accept these.." Kaoru said, her voice trembling.  
  
Yukimura frowned for a second, by then his smile returned, much more unsure. "Kaoru...Why?"  
  
There was a far away glint in her eyes as she said quietly, "There is someone I'm waiting for."  
  
Yukimura sighed. "Kenshin..right?"  
  
"How do you know about him?" Kaoru asked suspiciously.  
  
Yukimura looked hurt. "Well, I'm sorry for bothering, you Miss Kaoru." He said, his voice becoming cold and formal as he turned and left, throwing the flowers to the ground.  
  
Kaoru looked after him, saddened. Slowly she bent down and picked up the squashed flowers. She sighed. What else could she have done? She hadn't even known Yukimura long enough to have an opinion on him. Sure he was handsome and charming, but she loved Kenshin. No one could compare to Kenshin, in looks and personality. He was perfect for her. That just made Kaoru even sadder, longing even more for Kenshin to come back. The flowers slipped from her hands and she spun around and ran wildly towards her room, her tears streaming down her face.  
  
Kenshin quickened his pace. He was just on the outskirts of Tokyo and the sun was just setting. The fading light cast an orange glow over the entire city. There weren't that many people outside, so Kenshin was basically alone on the streets. His hurried footsteps echoed hollowly on the road as he approached the dojo.  
  
He hesitated for a second at the gate, a sense of finality overcoming him, as though if he entered he was bound to his decision to tell Kaoru. Quietly he opened the gate, so not to disturb anyone. He was somewhat surprised to find the dojo completely silent, but after all it was nighttime.  
  
The first one he met up with was Yahiko. He happened to be both very glad and very surprised at Kenshin's sudden arrival.  
  
"Kenshin! You're finally back!" Yahiko exclaimed.  
  
"Yes, Yahiko. I'm sorry for worrying you." Kenshin replied.  
  
"If you're looking for Kaoru, she's in her room crying again." Yahiko said when he noticed Kenshin glancing around.  
  
Kenshin's face darkened. "Crying?" He questioned.  
  
Yahiko nodded casually. "I think it has something to do with Yukimura."  
  
Kenshin became slightly worried. "Who is Yukimura?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, I forgot that you haven't met him. He's a guy, Kaoru met. He brought her flowers today, but he didn't stay over like he did yesterday."  
  
Kenshin's confidence faltered. Was Kaoru in love with this man? Could it be that she hadn't care that he had left? He nodded slightly to Yahiko before continuing to walk. He made his way down the hall till her reached Kaoru's door. He paused, his hand slightly raised, about to knock on the door, but he lowered it. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't tell her. Not after what he had just heard. He would have to ask Sano about it tomorrow to see if he could shed any light on the situation. But as Kenshin turned to leave an overwhelming desire to see her again overtook him. He listened at the door for a second. Once he was sure Kaoru was asleep he quietly slid open the door and stepped inside.  
  
Kenshin walked silently over to her futon and looked down at her. She looked so beautiful when she slept. Her ebony black hair was carefully braided at her side. He was surprised to see tears on her cheeks. She was crying in her sleep. Kenshin bent down and gently wiped the tears from her cheek, sighing. He wished things didn't have to be like this. He wished that she never would have to cry again. He watched her for a long time, simply taking in everything about her, not having to worry about anyone else. The only one he was thinking of was Kaoru, sweet sweet Kaoru.  
  
Finally after an hour or two Kenshin slipped out and went to his own room. He couldn't sleep though. He stared up into the dark for hours, his thoughts troubled. He was so stupid to have left. If he had stayed then maybe Kaoru wouldn't have fallen for that guy. Finally, though, he managed to fall into troubled dreams. 


	7. In Your Embrace

Chapter Seven: In Your Embrace  
  
Kaoru woke the next morning and wearily got dressed. As she walked into the kitchen she noticed that something smelled good. She looked over at Yahiko who was currently stuffing his face with a hot breakfast.  
  
"Did you make that yourself?" Kaoru asked, confused and sleepily.  
  
Yahiko shook his head. "Nah. It was Kenshin." He said through a mouthful.  
  
Kaoru snapped instantly awake. "Kenshin?!?"  
  
"Yeah, he came back last night, didn't you know?" Yahiko told her.  
  
"Last night! WHERE IS HE NOW?!?!?" Kaoru screamed.  
  
Yahiko flinched and rubbed his ears. "He said he was going to talk to Sano about something."  
  
Kaoru quickly grabbed her sandals and dashed out the door to find him.  
  
"That stupid Kenshin, why didn't he come to see me?" Kaoru questioned herself.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kenshin didn't know exactly where to find Sano, but he was lucky to bump into him just leaving his house. Sano invited him inside, glad that he had finally returned.  
  
"So you're back. It's about time." Sano said.  
  
"Do you know about a Yukimura by chance?" Kenshin asked getting straight to the point.  
  
"Ahhh..So you heard about him, did you?" Sano said casually. "So what are you going to go about it?"  
  
Kenshin looked up at Sano, a weary look on his face. "I can't do anything, if she really is in love with this guy. I can't take that away from her."  
  
Sano sighed and grabbed Kenshin by the shoulders and shook him vigorously. "You can't just let some guy she just met steal her from you! Besides how do you know if she really is in love with him?"  
  
Kenshin just looked even more saddened. "She wasn't mine to steal from anyway and besides I don't deserve her. She deserves so much better."  
  
Sano just got more exasperated with Kenshin. "Stop being such a baka Kenshin! I know the little missy cares a lot for you. Just tell her that you love her already!"  
  
Sano released Kenshin from his grip and tossed him out the door. "Get going and tell her now before it's too late!"  
  
"Oro!" Kenshin said as he stumbled down the road, still shaken up from San's attack.  
  
Kenshin walked till her came to the rivers edge. He sighed and sat down on the soft green grass. Should he tell her or should he not? He didn't know anymore, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to stand it if Kaoru was to be with another man. He picked up a small stone and tossed it lightly into the water, causing it to ripple and shimmer.  
  
Kaoru ran frantically down the road. Where could he be? Luckily she ran into Sano in the street.  
  
"Hello Missy. What's the matter?" he asked noticing her frantic face.  
  
"Have you seen Kenshin anywhere?" she asked wringing her hands together impatiently.  
  
"I saw him walking down towards the river, but that was a while ago." Sano said.  
  
Before Sano even finished talking Kaoru was already sprinting in that direction. As she approached the bank of the river she stopped and looked around. There Kenshin was lying on the grass, his hands behind his head, staring up at the sky. His long red tresses stood out brightly against the pale green grass. Kaoru's heart skipped a beat. He was actually her. She started to run, with each step she grew faster till she was almost to him, but then..........she tripped.  
  
Kenshin was just laying, staring up at the sky, thinking about Kaoru and what he should do, when he heard hurried footsteps. The next thing he knew, Kaoru was on top of him. He shot up into a sitting position, Kaoru in his lap. "Miss..Kaoru?" he asked anxiously.  
  
Kaoru blushed and climbed off of him. "I'm sorry.I tripped."  
  
An awkward silence grew between them as they both sat down on the ground looking at each other. Finally Kaoru just burst tears and threw her arms around him.  
  
"Why did you have to leave? I missed you so much." Kaoru sobbed against him. Kenshin brought his arms around her and held her closer burying his face in her ebony black hair. She smelled so sweet. He forgot all formality as he held her in his arms, running his fingers through her hair.  
  
"I'm sorry. It was a big mistake, that it was. But please don't cry anymore. I can't stand to see you cry." He said softly into her ear.  
  
Kaoru let his words sink in enjoying the closeness between them and the feel of Kenshin's warm breath on her ear. She could not help, but feel totally satisfied having his strong arms wrapped around her, burying her in his scent. Slowly she leaned in closer so that her head was leaning against his muscled chest. She could fell the steady rhythm of his heart beating, pulsing with a radiating warmth that spread to her own body. Eventually the sobs that had racked her body ceased and she simply soaked up his presence.  
  
Kenshin was in total bliss, utter heaven when he held her in his arms. He never wanted to let her go. He wanted this moment to last for eternity, till the end of time itself. His heart beat painfully at the thought of losing her to someone else and he knew that he would have to tell her his true feelings right now. Slowly he released her so that he could look her in the eyes. And what beautiful sapphire eyes did she have, that always managed to break his barriers down.  
  
"Miss Kaoru..the reason I went on that journey was to discover something about myself. I think I have found my answer. What I found is that I.." Kenshin began as he stared deep into her eyes.  
  
Kaoru looked at him expectantly, almost begging him to continue. She could feel his arms tighten around her anxiously as though frightened to tell. Here was the moment of absolute truth. To miss this would be to miss the chance that could change their lives forever.  
  
"What I discovered, Miss Kaoru, is that.." Kenshin began, but he didn't have a chance to finish because there was a shout and the sound of someone running hard. Kenshin released Kaoru and turned around to see Yahiko running towards them.  
  
"Yahiko, what's the matter?" Kenshin asked noticing his panicked face.  
  
"The dojo is...on fire!" Yahiko said panting for breath. 


	8. Sweet Tenderness

Silent Hearts:  
  
Chapter Eight: Sweet Tenderness  
  
"The dojo's..on fire!" Yahiko said panting for breath.  
  
"What?!" Kaoru screamed as they all started running back to the dojo.  
  
"Yeah. I don't know how it happened, but the whole training hall is on fire! There's a bunch of people there trying to put it out. It took me forever to find you." Yahiko said trying his hardest to keep up to Kenshin and Kaoru's pace.  
  
After a few frantic minutes they approached the dojo. There was a big crowd of people all gathered in the yard, some holding buckets of water, and some just standing around. Everything seemed to be over though, for there was no sign of any visible flames, only a thick smoke that billowed out from the charred remains of the training hall. As soon as Kenshin and Kaoru arrived the people began to clear out leaving them alone to the devastation.  
  
Kaoru stared in unbelief at the ashes. Only the main part of the house, the part in which they lived, remained. In denial she collapsed onto her knees on the dusty ground and began to cry frustrated tears.  
  
"Why did this have to happen?! This was all I had left of my father!" Kaoru screamed as she got up and started to kick anything nearby, smashing anything in her path.  
  
Kenshin came up silently behind her and wrapped his arms around her, restraining her against his body. "Calm down, we can rebuild it." Kenshin said, trying to soothe her before she hurt herself, but it just made Kaoru struggle even more.  
  
"With what money?!" She yelled. She jerked viciously to get out of Kenshin's arms, trying her hardest to break away from him, but she was unable to move once he tightened his grip on her.  
  
Eventually Kaoru tired herself out and reluctantly accepted the truth. Slowly she slumped against him, her back against his chest, his chin resting on her shoulder and his arms encircling her slim waist.  
  
"This can't be happening, Kenshin. This can't be true." She whispered softly, so that he could barely catch her words.  
  
"I would like to tell you that this was all a dream, that none of this had ever happened, but I can't. I won't lie to you. I cannot do that, but what I can do is tell you that as long as you are with me I'll protect you. You don't have to worry. We'll get through this all." He said tenderly, his voice trembling slightly.  
  
They stood in silence for a long time, saying nothing just staring at the ashes, holding onto each other. Yahiko tossed frequent disturbed glances at them, but they didn't care. Eventually, he shook his head and slipped away, slight perturbed by their strange behavior.  
  
And they were alone again. Kenshin didn't want to release her from his embrace afraid that if he did he would never hold her again.  
  
"I think I'll get a job." Kenshin said disturbing the still silence after many moments of deep thought.  
  
Kaoru was astonished by his words. "What?!"  
  
"I'll get a job to help you pay for the rebuilding." Kenshin said as he slowly released her and walked a few steps away.  
  
Kaoru shivered, from the absence of his warmth. "I can't let you do that."  
  
"I insist, Miss Kaoru. It's time I start earning my keep around here. I owe it to you for letting me stay here at the dojo for so long." Kenshin said turning so that his back was facing her.  
  
Kaoru clutched her hands tightly to hold back more tears. "But you already have! You help a lot around here and not just with the chores. You've saved my life and the lives of countless others many times. If anyone owes anything, it's me."  
  
"Please, let me do this for you, Miss Kaoru." Kenshin said, his voice etched with pleading.  
  
"Why do you want to do this for me?" Kaoru asked her heart beating a little faster.  
  
Kenshin turned around to face her, quickly getting rid of the distance between them. He brought his arms up to grip her shoulders tightly in his hands and his gaze turned fiery and intense.  
  
"Because, Miss Kaoru, I am in love with you! I want to do something for you so you'll be happy! I want to be able to call you just Kaoru! I've always hated calling you Miss Kaoru because it always reminded of what I could never have, but I forced myself to call you it. I could never hope that one day you would be mine. I..I..could barely stand to think that someone...someone like Yukimura..would take you away from me." He said his voice full of conflicting emotion.  
  
Kaoru's heart froze at those words, her throat constricting roughly so she could not respond with anything other than a stutter. She couldn't believe her ears. Had he just said that he was in love with her?! She couldn't move, she couldn't think, she couldn't even breathe. She wanted so bad to tell him how much she loved him too, but for some reason nothing would come out.  
  
Kenshin watched the emotions play over her face and he suddenly realized what he had just done. Slowly he let go of her and drew away, his hands lying limp at his sides and his head hung low.  
  
"I'm sorry..I shouldn't have said that..Miss Kaoru.." Kenshin said his long red bangs shadowing his face. He expected her to leave, in his heart he could already feel the numbness of rejection, but he jumped when he felt her warm hand brush the hair from his face.  
  
"I've been wanting to hear that for such a long time. I...I love you too!" Kaoru said throwing her arms around Kenshin, tears glistening in her eyes.  
  
Kenshin was astonished by her reaction at first, but then his eyes softened to a warm glow and he gently held her in his arms. "But.but what about Yukimura?"  
  
"I don't know what you thought about me and him, but I never even thought about him that way." Kaoru said reassuringly.  
  
He looked down into her eyes, that glowed and shined as though cut out of lapis lazuli. As they stared at each other, Kaoru caught her breath noticing that only a couple inches separated Kenshin's face from her own. The tension that boiled rapidly in the air reached its climax. Slowly, as if to ask her permission, Kenshin brought his lips closer to hers, the space between them dwindling. Kaoru answered his hesitant question by bringing her lips to meet his in a soft kiss.  
  
Kaoru melted into him, totally swept away by his taste and his scent which seemed to totally engulf her. She felt an insuppressible need to be closer to him, to feel his skin against her skin, to make his body part of hers. She pressed herself against him trying to supply the unquenchable thirst, but she simply hungered for more.  
  
After what Kaoru thought to be much too soon a time they broke the kiss and Kenshin caressed her face with a sweet tenderness that sent shivers down her spine. His fingers moved lovingly over her smooth cheeks, that flushed slightly under his touch, to her small delicate nose, and slowly down to her sweet moist lips. He paused there for a moment, but then moved to lightly trace the line of her chin.  
  
Kaoru trembled under his sweet touch, her whole body shaking violently. Kenshin's eyes grew worried as he stared down at her pale shaking face.  
  
"Promise me you won't ever leave again!" Kaoru said, the hand that she was gripping his gi with tightening.  
  
"I swear to stay with you forever." Kenshin said as he leaned down to her face once again, kissing her with even more passion. Fervently he eased his lips over hers, feeling a gnawing pain and growing lust deep inside him to break his boundaries and continue beyond more than just kisses and simple touches.  
  
As he slowly and unwillingly pulled away, they both gasped for breath, still caught up in the heat of the kiss. When he finally managed to catch his breath he bent down to whisper feverishly into her ear.  
  
"Will you-- " he began to ask her a question, but again his words were interrupted by a shout and footsteps. Kenshin quickly stepped away from Kaoru and turned to see Megumi and Sano walking up.  
  
~Sorry about interrupting them AGAIN. It annoys me too, but I don't want things to happen too fast or else my story will end. *cries* I'm having too much fun writing this! ~ 


	9. Summing It All Up

Silent Hearts:  
  
Chapter Nine: Summing It All Up  
  
"We just heard about what happened." Sano said his eyes scanning the devastation that the fire had left behind.  
  
Megumi was watching Kenshin and Kaoru carefully, her eyes intent and focused. She could tell that they had interrupted something. Kaoru was breathing heavier than usual, a slight blush on her pale cheeks and Kenshin's eyes were ferociously intense.  
  
"Yes. There was a fire, but no one was hurt." Kenshin said sounding like his mind was on something else. There was a tense moment of silence where Kenshin turned to look at Kaoru for a second, causing her blush to deepen, but then he looked away again.  
  
"Why don't we all go to the Akabeko to eat lunch and take a break from this? Yahiko's already there anyway. He's the one that told us what happened." Megumi said quietly still watching Kenshin and Kaoru's reactions. Sano was, of course, oblivious to the emotional tension in the air.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"That's just awful, Miss Kaoru!" Tae exclaimed. They were all seated around a table in the Akabeko. She had just found out about the fire.  
  
"Do you have any clue about how it happened, Yahiko?" Kenshin asked, wondering how it could have started in the first place.  
  
Yahiko shook his head sadly, not saying a word. Yahiko's glance went to Tsubame who had just approached with drinks for all of them. The group was very quiet and thoughtful as they each grabbed their own drink and sipped them slowly.  
  
"It doesn't make any sense." Sano said setting down his cup of sake and ruffling his fingers through his spiky brown hair. "If the fire was an accident then it would have started in the kitchen or somewhere where a fire was lit, not in the training hall."  
  
"That must be the first smart comment I've heard from you, Sanosuke. I'll have to remember this." Megumi said coldly, turning to look at him.  
  
"What did you say, Fox lady!" Sano said angrily. "Are you calling me stupid or something?"  
  
"That's exactly what I meant, roosterhead!" Megumi shot back.  
  
"Why you!....." Sano began, but Kenshin laid a hand on his shoulder. Sano grumbled, but did not say anything more.  
  
Megumi then turned to Kenshin. "Could it be possible that the dojo was set on fire on purpose?" Megumi wondered.  
  
"But who would want to do that?" Tae said.  
  
Kenshin looked thoughtful. Could it be that someone had done it because of him?  
  
"What are you going to do now?" Sano asked looking from Kenshin to Kaoru.  
  
"I have decided to get a job to pay for the reconstruction of the training hall." Kenshin said, his eyes drifting over to look at Kaoru.  
  
"I already told you that you didn't have to." Kaoru said quietly, her cheeks turning slightly pink as she clasped her hands tightly together.  
  
"And I already told you that I wanted to do this." Kenshin said forcefully, in a very serious tone.  
  
The air in the room tensed and an uncomfortable silence grew between the members of the group. Only the sound of the other customers in the nearby tables could be heard, gossiping, eating, and laughing. It seemed slightly wrong because of the sad events of the morning to hear other people enjoying themselves and going on with life.  
  
Megumi watched Kenshin and Kaoru carefully, watching their every glace. She was extremely curious about what exactly had happened between them.  
  
"Well, where are you staying tonight?" Tae asked trying to break the tension.  
  
"The bedrooms, the kitchen and all the main living areas weren't damaged. We can spend the night there." Kenshin said after a few moments.  
  
"That's lucky." Tae said looking at all their faces.  
  
"Yeah...a little too lucky.." Kenshin whispered to himself. Only Kaoru heard his words.  
  
As they all got up to leave Megumi pulled on Kenshin's arm. "Are you sure you'll be ok in the dojo tonight?"  
  
Kenshin smiled, but it was a fake one. "Yes, we'll be fine."  
  
Kaoru glared at Megumi, noticing that her hand was still on Kenshin's arm. She felt a jealousy rise within her that she could not suppress. She knew that Kenshin would never betray her, but that wouldn't stop Megumi from trying to ensnare him in one of her traps. Kaoru's eyes narrowed and she pulled on Kenshin to follow her.  
  
Sano was the last one to leave the table, waiting to watch Megumi saunter out of view. He sighed loudly and downed another glass of sake. He could still picture Megumi's concerned face as she gazed at Kenshin. He sort of wished that she would look at him like that. Then he shook his head and laughed softly. But then again maybe he had had too much to drink.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Later that night, Yahiko, Kaoru, and Kenshin all sat around the table eating a quick supper that Kenshin had prepared. The room was dead silent. Only the sound of chopsticks and eating could be heard. Kenshin was deep in his thoughts. Not only was he worried about the dojo and trying to figure out how it had been set on fire, Kaoru was taking up a large part of his mind. He had been so close to asking her to marry him. He was absolutely thrilled to find that Kaoru loved him. He brought his fingers up to his lips absentmindedly. He could still feel the warmth and taste of her lips on his, her sweet aroma enveloped in his embrace. He wanted so bad to be alone with her again, so he could finish his question and feel her in his arms once more.  
  
Kaoru kept glancing over at Kenshin, her thoughts in turmoil. Then she remembered that he had just about to have asked her something before. What could he have been possibly about to ask her? She slowly chewed on her food. It might as well be tasteless because Kaoru was too wrapped up in her thoughts to notice its flavor. With a sigh she set down her chopsticks and bowl and stood up. She picked up her dishes and walked into the kitchen.  
  
Kaoru heard light footsteps behind her and she turned around to see Kenshin walking in, carrying his and Yahiko's bowls. He didn't say anything, but lightly took her bowl and began to wash the dishes. She watched Kenshin for the moment, his sleeves tied back, his arms buried in soap bubbles scrubbing away at all the food crusted bowls. Then silently she walked up beside him and began to help him. When they both finished their own bowls they both reached for the last one. Their hands touched for a second. Kaoru blushed and withdrew her hand. She stood there watching him as he finished washing it and dried all the bowls and put them away.  
  
They stood there in silence for a while. Then Kenshin turned to look at her.  
  
"Will you take a walk with me?" Kenshin asked looking down at his hands.  
  
"Ok." Kaoru said weakly.  
  
~Not a very interesting chapter, but necessary. I'm going to be introducing a couple more relationships, so be warned. Things are going to get complicated~ 


	10. Yukimura Returns: Sacrifice or Happiness...

Silent Hearts:  
  
Chapter Ten: Yukimura Returns: Sacrifice or Happiness?  
  
The moonlight caressed the silent figures of Kenshin and Kaoru as they walked down the winding path to the river. A slight wind stirred Kaoru's silky dark hair, brushing it against her flushed cheeks. Kenshin smiled softly down at her, taking her hand in his own as they walked. Kaoru blushed deeper, but enjoyed Kenshin's warm hand gripping her own and the feel of his palm, rough from years of swordsmanship, against hers.  
  
They didn't say anything at all till they reached the riverside. It was beautiful at night. The multicolored leaves drifted softly down onto to the still water, bathed in the silvery moonlight. Kaoru and Kenshin stared out at the water, gazing at their own reflections in the stillness of the dark night. Then Kenshin turned to face her, still holding onto her hand and clearing his throat nervously.  
  
"I never got to finish my question." He said pulling her closer that he could wrap her in his arms. She leaned against his chest, enjoying the warmth and intimacy which they shared.  
  
"What was your question?" Kaoru said, breathing in his scent which was making her lightheaded.  
  
"I wanted to know..if you'd consider..becoming my wife." he said softly.  
  
Kaoru choked. What had he just said?! "What?!" Kaoru stammered her heart beating faster and her head spinning.  
  
"I wanted to know..will you marry me?" Kenshin repeated unaware that his whole body was shaking slightly.  
  
Kaoru nodded and barely managed to mumble out a "yes."  
  
A soft smile of relief and joy spread across his face as he scooped her up bridal style and swung her around, all the while plastering kisses on her face and down her neck.  
  
Kaoru began to get dizzy, though she thoroughly enjoyed the way he was touching her. He was so gentle it was surprising, how he carefully kissed her skin softly. The warm kisses made her heart flutter frantically, and she was sure that if she had been standing she would have fainted to the ground. It was so intoxicating. She felt like she could get drunk just being in his presence.  
  
After a few minutes Kenshin seemed to have come to his senses and set Kaoru back down to the ground. Kaoru had to lean against Kenshin to stay standing up, but it didn't bother her one tiny bit. She was glad for any excuse to be with him. She smiled up at him, love glowing tenderly in her eyes. Kenshin leaned down to kiss her lightly on the lips.  
  
"We should probably go back now." Kenshin said as he brushed his hands lightly through her hair.  
  
Kaoru sighed and nodded. They both started to walk slowly back to the dojo. Kenshin wrapped his arm around her waist happily. Kaoru was going to be his wife..his alone and no one else's. Just that thought made Kenshin so happy that he felt like he could pick Kaoru up and run off to get married this second, but he knew that would not be the proper thing to do.  
  
"Damn it all!" Yukimura whispered ferociously to himself as he watched the happy couple return to their home from his hiding spot in the bushes.  
  
"It wasn't supposed to be like this! I'm..I'm the one who was supposed to comfort her and become closer...after the fire. Not that red-headed idiot...all I wanted..was Kaoru.I never would have done it...if I had known that this would happen." he said, hate for himself and for Kenshin raging within him. Had he really wanted Kaoru so much that he would destroy what she loved the most? How could he be such an awful person?  
  
Yukimura stood up from his hiding spot and made his way over to look at his reflection. All he could see was the self loathing boiling in his heart. He brought one hand up to his face and paused to look at it. Why did he do it? His thoughts tumbled back to earlier that day...  
  
Yukimura was miserable and that was all there was to it. He wandered randomly through the streets, his mind remembering Kaoru's words. 'There's someone that I'm waiting for.'  
  
"Oh why couldn't it be me?" Yukimura said angrily to himself as he turned to go to his house. It was a small one, much like Sano's except for it was in a different section of the city. He had lived alone for the last year or two until his sister's husband had been killed in a knife fight and she had been stranded, a penniless widow with nothing to her name. So Yukimura had taken her in even though she was embittered. She was his sister after all and he had loved her very deeply. She was a few years older him though.  
  
So when he returned, he was greeted by his sister with a scowl. He tried to smile, to at least appear to be cheerful. He was always trying to make her smile, and on some occasions he managed to. Even though she was bitter it was obvious that she loved him back.  
  
"What's the matter Yukimura? You look unhappy." She said roughly as he sat down next to her.  
  
"..It's nothing important." he said tiredly, rubbing his eyes.  
  
"Is it something about the girl you were telling me about...that Kaoru?" she asked narrowing her eyes.  
  
Yukimura nodded and told her everything.  
  
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Later that day Yukimura looked at the dojo. No one seemed to be there except the young boy, Kaoru's apprentice. He glanced over at his sister who stood beside him. His hands shook nervously.  
  
"Are you sure we should really do this?" Yukimura said anxiously.  
  
His sister frowned. "Do you want to lose Kaoru? Do you wanna lose this one chance at love? You don't get many. This is the only way!"  
  
Yukimura shook his head. "I don't how see destroying her home will do anything."  
  
His sister sighed loudly. "Someone will need to comfort her afterwards? And who will be there for her? You will. Just follow my advice and everything will be ok..."  
  
~~~~~~ (back to the present) ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yukimura clenched his hand into a tight fist and closed his eyes tightly. He was such an idiot, an utter fool. He had to go to Kaoru and beg her forgiveness even if she would not tell him. He had to tell her or else he felt like he was going to be torn apart......  
  
~ok. I'm kind of unsure about this chapter, so please review and tell me what you think~ 


	11. So Close…But Yet So Far Away

~Here's some fluffiness for you because Valentines Day's coming up and it has taken me soooooo long to update! ~  
  
Silent Hearts  
  
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Chapter Eleven: So Close.....But Yet So Far Away ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kenshin and Kaoru made their way inside the dojo being a silent as possible so as to not wake up Yahiko, who seemed to have gone to sleep. Kenshin walked her to her room, opening the door for her. She smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek as she walked past him and into her room. Kenshin stood in the doorway for a second, watching her, a small thought in his mind. He shook his head as he turned away and shut the door. He shouldn't be thinking about that.......  
  
With a sigh, Kaoru changed into her sleeping robe and crawled under her covers. She tried to prepare herself for sleep, but she did not seem tired at all. How could she sleep knowing that soon Kenshin would be her husband?! Her thoughts turned to life married to him. Would they possible......have children? The thought made Kaoru a bit queasy, thinking of what came before all that.......sex. Now that had to be the thing that was making her nervous. Undoubtedly they would....but she was unsure of how to handle it....Whenever she thought of Kenshin that way it always made her wonder.....if he would think she was....good enough.  
  
In actuality she had had many dreams and fantasies about her and Kenshin. Sometimes at night she would dream about it and wake up the next morning flushed and burning. Somehow she managed to suppress those feelings during the day when she saw him, but they always came back to her at night. She started to blush, just thinking about them, her cheeks turning a dark shade of red. She buried her face in her covers trying to get the images out of her head. It wasn't that she was embarrassed about having the fantasies. After all she was the only one who knew about them. No, the reason that she was embarrassed was that she enjoyed them.  
  
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Yukimura ran down the streets and up to the dojo. He knew that he would never be able to tell Kaoru to her face. In his hand, he clenched the letter he had written in his hand. It had taken him a long long time to come to a conclusion of how to tell her and this was what he had to do. Inside the letter explained it all....including...what had happened......what he had done....before....he had met her....all the horrible things. He felt that he needed to tell her about it. He needed someone to know. It had been killing him for so long and now that he had written it all down on paper it felt a lot better. He hadn't had the heart to tell her before. He knew that even if she didn't hate him for destroying her dojo, she would hate him after she read this letter, after she found out his secret.  
  
The sun was already rising by the time he reached the dojo. Carefully he laid down the piece of paper where it would be visible when someone went outside next. Then he left, taking one last long look at the dojo. He knew what he had to do now....it was something he should have done a long time ago....ever since.....that day. He knew that he had to kill himself.  
  
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Kenshin woke up early the next morning. It was a beautiful morning, that it was. Even though the signs of an early winter could already be seen setting in, there was something about the day that just demanded for beauty and serenity. A cool chill beset him as he pulled on his old worn magenta gi, much happier than usual. Kenshin could feel such an enormous relief overtake him. He had finally told Kaoru that he loved her. Now he was getting married to her! He wondered for a second, as he finished pulling on his clothes, why she had chosen him. Why? It wasn't like he was anything special.  
  
'Just an old wanderer with bloodstained hands.' He thought to himself as he peered down at his own two hands and clenched them softly.  
  
'Oh come on! Your not that old.....and the past is the past.....that it is.' Kenshin thought again. He wasn't going to be sad today. No, today he was going to be happy, for Kaoru's sake. If she saw him sad she might think that he was having second thoughts about what he had asked her last night. He would not let that happen. He would have to do something special for her. What if he was to make her breakfast in bed? She would like that. He rushed off to get everything prepared.  
  
Kaoru lay awake in her bed, the rays of morning light settling softly on her tranquil form. She was lost deep in her thoughts, wondering if the events of last night had actually happened. Could Kenshin have really proposed to her?!  
  
There was a soft knock on the door disturbing the still quiet. Kaoru jumped slightly, startled out of her reverie.  
  
"My Kaoru, are you awake?" Kaoru's heart fluttered at the sound of Kenshin's soft, warm voice. She smiled widely. So everything hadn't been a dream last night!  
  
"Yes, Kenshin?" she called out, sitting up in her bed so that the covers slid down to her side.  
  
The door slid open to reveal Kenshin, a tender smiled planted on his face and in his arms a tray. On the tray was what seemed to be a very fancy breakfast.  
  
He looked absolutely handsome today. She almost couldn't handle it. Maybe it was in the way the light reflected so beautifully in his amethyst eyes, like pure crystal. Then again maybe it was the way his tresses of fire red hair fell down to frame his face like a veil against his pale skin. Kaoru did not know what it was that made her heart beat so fast at the sight of him. All she did know was that when she looked at him a comforting warmth spread across her, filling her with a gentle love.  
  
Kenshin walked in and set the tray down next to her. "I brought you breakfast, that I did." He said watching her intently. She looked so beautiful this morning. Oh how he longed to reach out to touch her ebony black hair, to run his fingers through its smooth silkiness. The way that her seductive crystal blue eyes shone innocently like pools of captured moonlight was driving him insane. He resisted the urge to reach out to her by carefully setting the tray down next to her. His eyes strayed to her lovely figure, widening a little as he noticed how loose her sleeping robe was hanging. Kenshin immediately turned crimson and turned away.  
  
Kaoru didn't notice his blush, but simply reached out and touched his hand softly.  
  
"Thank you so much, Kenshin." She said quietly, resting her hand on top his. She smiled, her eyes shining, and her skin brushing softly against. Kenshin's heart melted as he looked into those eyes. They were those eyes that he loved so much, that held him captive, that made his heart race wildly and made his breath catch. He got lost in their depths once again, as he cupped her face in his hand and brought her closer against him. He could practically feel her heart beating against his as he rested his scarred cheek against her warm smooth one.  
  
"It's only one small thing that I can do for the one I love." He said gently, caressing her soft pale cheek and planting a small kiss on her forehead.  
  
Kaoru sighed and leaned against him, soaking in his warmth. She closed her eyes, enjoying every second that his skin touched hers. She didn't say anything, but held perfectly still against him, as though if she were to move he would stop.  
  
Kenshin softly trailed kisses down her face and then over to her lips. He buried one hand in her raven locks, and with his other hand he pulled her forward so that his lips met with hers in a passionate kiss. Resisting the urge to deepen the kiss further, Kenshin slowly pulled away.  
  
"Your breakfast is getting cold." He said quietly, his eyes still held prisoner by hers. It had been so hard for him to pull away that time. It had frightened him slightly, that he was losing his control. He didn't want to move to fast for her. He wanted her to be happy. His needs would come after hers.  
  
Kaoru sighed and turned to the tray. He had spent all that time making it for her so she might as well eat it. She bit her lip. She didn't want breakfast right now. All she wanted.......was Kenshin. Why couldn't he realize that? Even after they had confessed their love, and now were engaged, he still was holding back. Why?  
  
'Oh, Kenshin, why are you still so distant? If only I could tell you how much this space between us is hurting me.' She thought to herself as she picked up her chopsticks and began to eat.  
  
~Ok. In the next chapter it will probably tell more about Yukimura's past and junk. You'll find out his secret....the one he's been hiding. And there will be more fluffiness....but I'm not sure what exactly since I haven't written it yet!!!~ 


	12. Silence before the Storm

~Here's another chapter for you all. I was away all weekend at my cousin's house (annoying peoples! They don't have a computer in sight!) I managed to get some work done on this story though. I was up till two at night writing, when I should have been sleeping, but I couldn't stop! Ok, that's enough of me babbling, I'll let you get to the story. ~  
  


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Chapter Twelve: Silence before the Storm  
  


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Kenshin left Kaoru alone to have a peaceful breakfast. He could tell that she needed some time to herself. A lot had been happening lately. Even he needed some time to relax and what better way to relax then by doing the laundry?  
  
Kenshin tied back his sleeves and buried his worries in scrubbing the dirt off their clothes. He noted how worn and old their clothes looked. He paused, up to his elbows in soap suds, and looked around the yard. Everything around here seemed to be getting old and worn. It was really time that he got a job. He couldn't expect Kaoru to pay for everything around here, especially now that they were getting married. He wanted to be able to start rebuilding the dojo. He knew how much that it meant to Kaoru. Kenshin wanted to be able to get them all new things. He wanted more than ever to make them happy. Kenshin was so lost in his thoughts that he failed to notice a little envelope blowing slightly in the wind.  
  
Kenshin sighed as he finished hanging the laundry. He headed inside to start on some more chores. He glanced down at the floors.  
  
"Hmmm...the floor seems pretty dirty today...." He said absentmindedly.  
  
Yahiko passed Kenshin as he walked out of the house and into the yard. He was deep in thought too. He didn't understand why Kaoru needed her breakfast brought to her this morning. It wasn't like she was sick or anything! He slowly wandered out into the yard, kicking a stone across the dusty ground. He was extremely bored. No one had been paying much attention to him lately, with everything that had been going on and all. He hadn't gotten any training from Kaoru in days because she had been too depressed about Kenshin's departure and now with the dojo burned to the ground!!! It wasn't that he minded being ignored and forgotten. It didn't bother him. What bothered him was that he was so bored!  
  
Making his way across the yard he saw something in the corner of his eye. He walked over to it and bent down to pick it up. It was a piece of paper...no it was a letter. But who was it from and who was it to? He held it in his hand, just staring at it. Should he open it? He grinned and tore the letter opened. How could he be expected to resist?  
  
"Curiosity killed the cat..."  
  
Yahiko spun around. There was no one there, but hadn't he just heard a voice. He shrugged. Oh well, maybe he was imaging things. He pulled the letter out of its envelope and slowly scanned it. It looked like it had been written in a rush. It took Yahiko a while to decipher the writing since the ink had been terribly smudged.  
  
It was from.....Yukimura. Yahiko gasped once he read its contents. He ran inside and skidded to a halt in front of Kenshin who was scrubbing away at the floor.  
  
"What is it, Yahiko?" he asked cheerfully.  
  
Yahiko didn't say anything, but simply shoved the letter into his hands. Kenshin read it over silently, his face turning grim. He clenched the paper harder, his knuckles turning white.  
  
"He's going to kill himself!" Kenshin exclaimed, grabbing his sword which he always kept nearby.  
  
"We have to stop him!" Yahiko said frantically as they both ran out the door and down the street. The letter fluttered to the ground forgotten.  
  
"We may already be too late...do you have any clue where he could be?" Kenshin said his mind racing. No matter what Yukimura had done....no matter what crimes he had committed, he still did not deserve to kill himself. He had to work off what he had done. Kenshin was much less than happy about what he hand found out. He had a few choice words for this Yukimura, that he did. But still he couldn't let him kill himself.  
  
"I think I might know. Yukimura mentioned something when we talked. But it's only a slim chance." Yahiko said.  
  
"Then show me the way!" Kenshin said urgently.  
  
Yahiko nodded silently. He was kind of amazed that Kenshin was rushing off to save someone he didn't know one thing about besides his name, the very person who had tried to date Kaoru and who had burnt the dojo down. How could he not be angry?  
  
Yahiko was wrong, though. Kenshin was mad. He was enraged. But he also knew that it was his duty to save every life possible, no matter what sins that person had committed.  
  
Kaoru finished her breakfast slowly, her hands moving at a snail's pace. She sighed and got up, pulling one of her kimonos. It was actually quite a beautiful kimono, made with a light blue silky material lined with an intricate midnight blue butterfly pattern.  
  
She made her way out into the yard, looking for Kenshin. Everything was oddly quiet. The drying laundry blew gently in the chilly wind causing Kaoru to feel very uneasy. It seemed so wrong. Where was everyone?  
  
Kaoru scanned the area. No one was in sight. Then she noticed something else fluttering in the wind. It was a piece of paper. She bent down to pick it up. Her hair, which she had not bothered to put up in its normal high ponytail, falling down her shoulders.  
  
She began to read it:  
  
Dear Miss Kaoru,  
  
In the short time that I have known you so much has happened to me. Before I met you I was so cold inside. I thought I would never feel anything again. Life was so very bleak and hopeless. But then you came along and instantly I knew I was in love.  
  
Everything was too perfect to be true and I was soon to find that out. It was just my luck that your heart was taken by another. So I seeked out advice from another, advice that I should have never taken. I was somehow under the impression that it would make you love me.  
  
Now I know hat love can't be forced and sometimes there isn't a happy ending. There is something else I need to confess. I wish I had the heart to tell you all this in person, but I am a coward. So I just have to say it in this letter. It was me who set the dojo on fire. If you ask me my reasons now I would not know how to answer. I can't understand why I did it anymore, but somehow I was under the impression that I could use your sadness to bring you closer to me.  
  
Looking back on that horrible thing that I did, I wish now more than ever that I hadn't done it. I know how much you must hate me now, but I am not finished yet. I feel that you have the right to know the real me, the one behind all the lies. Before I met you I was so different, so very different. I could not control my greed. When I wanted something, I got it, not matter what the price, even if I had to steal, cheat, or in even one case to kill.  
  
Just a year ago, when my selfishness drove me to kill the one person closest to me, that's when I woke up from the dream, that dream that everything was mine for the taking. When I lost something so valuable to met, the very one I was in love with, I realized what my greed was leading me to do. I knew that I had to stop. I knew that I had to escape the vicious cycle which I had drawn myself into. I went back to living a simple life. I bought only what I needed and gave the rest to help other people in need. It seemed that my life was going back to being a just one, but I was still so terribly lonely. Then I met you and it seemed like my world had suddenly brightened. When I was with you I forgot all the horrible things that I had done in the part. Then my greed overtook me again when I saw that you couldn't be mine...could never be mine.  
  
I am not writing this letter to make up excuses or to lay the blame on anyone. I simply wanted you to know. It is your choice to feel what you feel and there is nothing I can do to change that. I wish you the best of luck with your future and I hope you will be happy with Kenshin. I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart. Now I am sure of what I must do. There is no possible way to repent or pay you back for the horrible way I have wronged you. I have decided to take my own life so that in the future I will not be able to hurt anyone anymore.  
  
Goodbye,  
  
Yukimura  
  
The paper dropped from Kaoru's fingers. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak. All her emotions were running through her at once. First an intense uncontrollable anger that made her want to reach down and tear up the letter into tiny shreds, but as soon as she reached to do it, something else reached through her angered haze. A touch of sadness, a wave of sympathy for him. She knew one thing....She had to find him....she had to find him before it was too late.  
  
~ Don't take the voice Yahiko heard seriously. It's just part of my pathetically weird sense of humor~ 


	13. Crimson Tears

~Meooow! Another chapter! Let me take the time to thank everyone for the reviews! I would thank you all personally, but that would take way too long, so on with the story. This is the thirteenth chapter, so I hope you're not superstitious. ~  
  


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Chapter Thirteen: Crimson Tears  
  


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Yukimura sat at the riverside staring at his lonely reflection in the flowing water. Every detail from his ebony black hair hanging down his sides to his pale hand shaking as it held a glistening sliver knife in its grasp was illuminated in the water's depths. He had been like that for an hour or so now, wondering.......reminiscing about the dark past. In his mind he could see every gruesome detail fresh as though it was that horrible day. He could see what had happened to her.....to his beloved Natsume.........  
  


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"Yukimura...please......that's enough...... you've hurt him enough." She begged me, her small delicate hands wrapped around my arm in a desperate attempt to restrain me from beating the man I was supposed to 'take care of'.  
  
She was too desperate and too weak. She could have never stopped me. I could barely hear her words through my victim's screams. All the blood must have been rushing to my head. I remember feeling the taste of cruelty on my tongue and I liked it. I remember when I could enjoy those screams, when they gave me pleasure.  
  
"Natsume...get out of here! Stick to the plan!!" I had screamed shoving her roughly off of me, sending her flying to the dirty ground. We were in a dark alley way, in the dead of night. There was no one around, but us and our victim. It was all part of our plan, beating up this guy, distracting him long enough so that Natsume could do her work, stealing. But Natsume didn't want to do it anymore. She wasn't doing her part.  
  
I remember her looking up at me, with those beautifully pale blue eyes so full of pain and betrayal. Her face was bleeding slightly and I looked down at my hand. Had I done that, I wondered. But it didn't matter right now. We were running out of time.  
  
"Please! Stop it! Let's call off the plan. I can't stand to see anyone get killed. You promised it would never go this far. It's not worth it. We have enough already...please!" she pleaded with me. She was on her knees now, tears flowing from those enchanting eyes. I couldn't look away. She wanted out of the life we had created......she wanted out of the gang.  
  
That was when the anger began to boil within me. Uncontrollable waves of rage echoed throughout me and I couldn't stand to look at her anymore. She looked so pathetic there, kneeling in that darkened alley, tears flowing down her face. That was when I turned on her.  
  
"Damn you! You filthy bitch! Come one Natsume! This will be the last one! Think of how much we will get!" I must have been drunk...I had to have been. I don't think I would have ever called her that otherwise. She meant so much to me, and I never did show her that.  
  
I roughly grabbed her by the arms and pulled her up to me. She turned away, tears glistening in the moonlight.  
  
"No. You won't ever stop. You said you'd stop the time before this and the time before that. The truth is that you'll never stop. I don't know what'd happened to you. You're not the Yukimura that I love anymore. You're someone different. I have to leave now. I have to leave before I become a monster like you!"  
  
My mind, already intoxicated, became even more enraged.  
  
"What do you mean!? Do you think you can leave me!?" I screamed, my fury emerging in my fist as I beat her.  
  
I remember hearing her screams...echoing so loudly, then softly fading away until all that was left was a dead silence, in the truest sense. Along with her heart...... my heart went silent too.  
  


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Yukimura cried out and buried his head in his hands, trying to get the horrible images out of his head. He bit his lip so hard that blood began to dribble down his chin. He knew that he should just do it now, before someone came along, but he was scared. He knew he deserved the pain, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was such a coward. His whole body trembling he bent down and grabbed the knife. Then he heard footsteps approaching. Someone was coming.  
  
Yukimura turned to see Yahiko and a short man with long red hair and a cross-shaped scar. He froze. No, they couldn't come yet. He hadn't done it yet. He rose the knife a little higher, watching as the light reflected on its cruel blade.  
  
"Yukimura? Don't do it!" Kenshin said, stepping towards him slightly.  
  
"Who are you?" Yukimura said, his voice shaking.  
  
"I am Kenshin Himura. You are Yukimura right?" Kenshin said slowly moving closer.  
  
"Yeah, it's him." Yahiko said quietly.  
  
Yukimura twitched when he heard Kenshin's name. So this was the man that had been chosen over him. He was probably here to tell him off for what he had done. He didn't care about that right now. All he wanted to do was sink this knife into himself.  
  
"Stay away from me. I have to do this. Just please let me do this. This is the only way I can repent for my sins." Yukimura said, tears of anger forming in his eyes.  
  
"It doesn't have to be like this. There are other ways. I know what you are going through." Kenshin said still moving closer.  
  
"How could you possibly know?!" Yukimura screamed backing away from them.  
  
Kenshin hung his head, letting his long bangs hang over his face and his voice became dark.  
  
"You're wrong. I do know. Back in the bloodshed of the revolution there......was someone that I loved deeply. Her name was Tomoe. One night she came between me and my opponent. I couldn't stop my blade in time.....She died in my arms, her blood staining my hands. I can never forget that night that I took the life of the one that I loved. I know I can never take that back, but I can repent for those horrible sins by helping other people and protecting those who are weak. No matter what your crime, you can always repent. Killing yourself isn't the way."  
  
Yahiko stared at Kenshin, his eyes widened with disbelief.  
  
Yukimura shook his head, the tears dripping silently to the ground. "No. I can't go on anymore. I don't have anything to live for anymore. There's no point in going on anymore." He rose the knife so that it pointed directly at his heart. "This is for everyone I ever hurt!!"  
  
Kenshin reached forward to stop him, but he was too late. Yukimura had already plunged it deep into his heart.  
  
~.........I know...it's a little depressing.....but please....don't be mad.......I think story is nearing its end...which makes me really sad.....maybe a few more chapters....~ 


	14. Shattered Image

Disclaimer: It suddenly occurred to me that I haven't been putting one of these on! (bad me) I don't own Kenshin and like everyone else I wish I did.  
  
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Chapter Fourteen: Shattered Image  
  
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~Kenshin reached forward to stop him, but he was too late....Yukimura had already plunged it deep into his heart.....~  
  
Everything went strangely silent for Yukimura as he dropped to his knees, his hand clutching his chest. He looked up to see Kenshin and Yahiko standing in front of him, identical looks of shock and horror on their faces as they realized what was happening. He could see their lips moving, shaping words, but he could hear nothing but the awful silence. The darkness ebbed at his vision as his eyes fell down to the knife in his chest. Sharp stabs of pain radiated from within him, causing him to cry out softly.  
  
His chest oozed blood from the horrifying wound. With each slowed heartbeat a stream of blood sprayed out of his heart to splatter on his outstretched hands. He smiled faintly through his pain as he lost his strength and fell gradually onto the ground.  
  
Yukimura coughed, blood leaking over his dry lips as he gasped for breath. With his last shred of strength, he managed to whisper one last thing.  
  
"This is for you......Natsume......and......Kaoru......"  
  
Lying in a pile of crimson blood that slowly seeped across the ground, a twisted smile planted on his pale face, Yukimura's heart beat for the last time....  
  
Yahiko gagged at the sight of so much blood and he quickly excused himself to be sick. Kenshin's face was saddened as he looked at the prostrate man. He had failed. He had failed to save a life. He was stunned by this fact. The blood didn't bother him. Indeed he had seen much blood in his days as a hitokiri. What bothered him was his inability to do anything to save this man.  
  
...........................  
  
Kaoru ran as fast as she could, her feet pounding on the dirt road. She had no clue where she was going. She pushed her way through the busy market, frantically searching for signs of Yukimura. Now that she thought of it, she didn't really know that much about him. She hadn't paid much attention to him. She had been too busy worrying about Kenshin.  
  
Kaoru saw Kenshin standing in the crowd talking to a police officer. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest. She knew already what had happened. She knew already that she was too late. She tried to push away this knowledge, not ready to accept it. It couldn't be.  
  
Kenshin turned to see Kaoru standing in the crowd. He saw how haunted her eyes looked and he could tell that she had already realized it. He quickly walked over to where she was standing.  
  
"Kaoru....I..." he said, unable to say anything to comfort her.  
  
"Kenshin.....Kenshin, where is he?" she asked, her voice trembling uncontrollably.  
  
Kenshin shook his head. "He....isn't....Kaoru....He's....he's..." Kenshin started to say, wondering how he could possibly say it.  
  
Kaoru pushed past Kenshin, not wanting to hear the words, not wanting her fears to be confirmed. She ran down past the crowds to where most of the policemen had gathered. "No....no..." she whispered to herself as she approached.  
  
Kenshin walked slowly after her, knowing that she needed to discover the truth for herself even if it would cause her great pain.  
  
Kaoru pushed her way past the policemen, ignoring their cries for her to not come any closer. She fought her way through, ripping her arms away from the ones who tried to stop her.  
  
"He's my friend...I have to see him!" she screamed as tears leaked down her pale cheeks and dropped down onto the hard ground.  
  
Then she saw him and her heart stopped in her chest. Slowly she dropped onto her knees, staring, unable to accept what was laid clearly before her. He was.....dead. She started shivering, a couple tears sliding down her cheeks. She was still numb with disbelief when Kenshin approached from behind.  
  
"Why....Kenshin? He still had friends! He had me and Yahiko! Why did he have to do this?!" she said, clutching onto him tightly.  
  
Kenshin wrapped his arms around her and sighed. "Sometimes you don't realize that you have something, until you lose it. Sometimes all you can see is the pain and the sorrow. For Yukimura, I think he couldn't see the friendship he had with you, and even though it would never be more than that it was still special. If only he had held on a little longer he would have been happy.  
  
I guess for some people it's hard to see past the sorrow that weighs so heavily down upon your heart. Yukimura knew that he had a lot to live for yet, but still he chose to end it. Maybe it was because he wasn't strong enough or maybe it was because he just didn't care anymore. Either way he's gone and there's nothing that any of us can do about it. I didn't know him very well, Kaoru, but I could see into his heart clearly. He was a confused, but honest person. He could have made so much out of himself.  
  
Even though he's dead now, you can't blame yourself. I'm not telling you that it's going to be easy because that would be a lie. I know that this is going to be hard to accept and move on from. You can't really forget a person like him. Kaoru, I know you're in a lot of pain right now, but I'm here to help you. Don't forget that...Don't forget that I love you and I will do anything to help you."  
  
Kaoru held back tears, not wanting to cry anymore. She was sick of crying, she was sick of all the sorrow and the death. Anger began to rise within her. No! This was not happening! This was not happening! Why wouldn't it all just go away! She jerked herself out of Kenshin's arms and turned away from him.  
  
"You don't understand Kenshin. Don't pretend like you do." She said viciously.  
  
Kenshin's face was etched in pain at hearing those words. "Kaoru....I want to help you..."  
  
"Just leave me alone Kenshin! You don't care that he's dead. You don't care about him! Just admit it. You didn't know him. You probably hated him for what he did! Even though I knew him for only a short while, I could see what he was like inside! He was my friend and I lost him! " she screamed.  
  
Kenshin's eyes faded and he slowly reached out a hand to touch her. "Kaoru....I..."  
  
Kaoru didn't give him a chance to say anything before she slapped his hand away. "Go away Kenshin! Just leave me alone!" she said, as she turned away and started to run, angry tears running down her face.  
  
Kenshin stood there for a while, his hand still outstretched. Anguish rose within him at her cruel words. What did she mean by it? Did she really just want him to go away? He had hurt her again. It was his fault for not saving Yukimura in time, it was his fault that she felt that terrible pain in her heart. His clenched his hand into a fist at his side. He had to find some way to make this right. He had to do something. 


	15. Raging Quiet

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Chapter Fifteen: The Raging Quiet  
  
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A soft mist fell on Kenshin's crestfallen face as he lifted it to look at the sky. Soft rain drops fell soundlessly onto his skin, mixing with a silent tear that slipped down his scarred cheek. It was ironic how the rain fell, as though it too recognized the sadness that had occurred that night and was somehow honoring it.  
  
"Kaoru...." He whispered out quietly, his eyes glazing away in pain that echoed in the darkness of his heart. He turned to look at the clearing crowd of police officers his eyes seeing, but yet....not quite seeing as though he had no will left to focus. It was as though he was in another world, all alone and trembling in the cold harshness of the beating rain. He slowly began to walk. His worn sandals scrapped softly against the ground, his feet dragging as though he had no life left in his body.  
  
The rain started to fall heavier now, condensing slowly into thicker and heavier drops that pounded down onto the ground and on Kenshin's aching body. The soft pitter patter of these raindrops echoed loudly in his ears as he made his way further along the bank, leaving the city behind.  
  
Kenshin shivered in his gi and pulled it closer around him so that it no longer hung open in the front. He couldn't go back to the dojo. Not after what she had said to him. He had to find a way to make everything better first. He wouldn't rest until he could somehow make up for it.  
  
"Kaoru.......Kaoru" he continued to say softly as though mourning for her. Each time he said her name a memory of her bright smile would come and comfort him, but only for a moment as he then remembered the hurt she was in. The cold wetness sunk into his clothes, drenching him and causing his long red tresses to cling to his body along with his clothes.  
  
The slight afternoon storm turned into a drenching whirlwind of water that splashed at Kenshin from all sides. He didn't care though. In his mind, he deserved it, just as he deserved every horrible thing that happened to him.  
  
A flash of lightning burned across the sky and a crack of thunder echoed loudly in his eardrums. He jumped, thinking of Kaoru. She was afraid of thunderstorms! Was she alright? Was she all alone in her fright with no one to comfort her? He thought of rushing off to find her then, but then he remembered her words, "Go away Kenshin! Just leave me alone!"  
  
"I can't.....comfort you....Kao—ru." He said, his lips stumbling over her name as the cold rain poured down his face, hiding the glistening flow of his tears.  
  
In his mind he could see her crying in the darkness, huddled and clenching herself in terror. Then he began to remember all the other times she had shed tears because of him, all the other times that she had been alone and frightened. He bit back a sob knowing that he couldn't do anything about it.  
  
............................................................................................................  
  
Kaoru stormed angrily back through the streets which had now mostly cleared because of the storm. Kaoru let the rain pour down her clothes without thought for her comfort. She was absorbed in her anger and she couldn't see anything through her blind rage.  
  
She reached the dojo and hurried to her room, slamming the door shut behind her. She bit her lip harder, trying uselessly to keep back those annoying frustrating tears. Yukimura was dead. Kaoru sat down slowly on the hard wooden floor, thinking. What did she know about him other than he had a pretty face? Why was she so upset for him now? Not to be harsh or anything, but she really hadn't known him all that well. Why did it hurt so much?  
  
Her eyes widened. Could it be because she had just needed someone to replace Kenshin while he was gone, so she had acted as though Yukimura was close to her while secretly wishing for Kenshin? Gods, that doesn't make any sense though. She hadn't really been thinking about Yukimura at all. She hadn't even really noticed him much. So again she was stuck with the question of why did she care so much?  
  
There was a loud knock on her door and it slid open with a bang to reveal a soaking Yahiko. She hadn't even really noticed that he'd followed her home.  
  
"How could you do that?!" Yahiko said his voice shaking with anger.  
  
"Do what!?" Kaoru screamed at him as she turned her back on him.  
  
Yahiko's face contorted in pain. "You don't even notice what you've done to him. You're too wrapped up in your own 'misery' to notice what you just accused Kenshin of! Did you know what your words did to him? Did you even bother to think that maybe you shouldn't take your pain out on others!"  
  
Kaoru trembled and hugged herself. "Go away, Yahiko! You're just a little kid. You don't understand anything!"  
  
Yahiko shook his head as though he couldn't believe the way she was acting. "I may be just a kid, but you don't have to be an 'adult' to notice the look on Kenshin's face when you accused him of those terrible things. He's still out there in the rain you know! Who knows if he'll come back again! If I were him I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near you!"  
  
"Don't you dare say that to me!"  
  
Kaoru turned around and slapped him in the face without even thinking. She was angry because she knew that he was right and that she had been so horrible to both of them. Her heart froze when she saw the look of disgust in his face and she stared at her hand and then at the stinging red part of his cheek.  
  
"Oh....Yahiko...." Kaoru said her voice trembling as she wrapped her arms around him and cried. "I'm........so......sorry."  
  
Yahiko's face softened and he tried to hold back his own tears in vain. "It's alright busu...." He hugged her back knowing that she needed comfort now more than ever.  
  
"I have....to go...find him..." Kaoru choked out as she finally separated from Yahiko and patted him on the head.  
  
Yahiko nodded and quickly brushed away his tears hoping that she hadn't noticed them. "I'll....go with you...."  
  
Kaoru shook her head. "Please stay here. This is something I need to do on my own."  
  
Yahiko was slightly disappointed that he would not be included, but he understood what she meant. He lowered his head and sighed. "I'll be waiting for you. Bring him back Kaoru."  
  
Kaoru looked at the young boy knowing that she would at least always have him. She gave him a quick hug and then after changing into some dry clothes and grabbing an umbrella she ran out the door to find Kenshin. 


	16. The Clearing Sky

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Chapter Sixteen: The Clearing Sky  
  
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Kaoru ran as fast as she could through the freezing rain. The umbrella she brought only managed to block out a fourth of the torrents of rain that swirled through the air. She was heading back to the riverside where she had last seen Kenshin. She doubted that he would still be there, but she didn't know where else to look. She was frantic with heartache, knowing now how much hurt he was in. He probably would blame it on himself, all the things she had said. He was that kind of person, a person who could only take it on himself and not others.  
  
'Where are you Kenshin?' she thought to herself as she reached the wind swept riverbank only to find that it was completely empty. Where could he have gone?  
  
The sky flashed with lightning and the whole ground seemed to shake with thunder. Kaoru shrieked and gripped the handle of her umbrella tighter, her knuckles turning pale. She wanted to run right back to the dojo right now where safety was, but she couldn't. Kenshin's was still out here and she had to find him.  
  
Kenshin was sitting down beneath an old tree where he gained a small amount of cover from the storm. That didn't matter to him. He was too busy wrapped up in his thoughts.  
  
He gripped his sword tightly against his chest, gaining little comfort from its cold steel. This sword could not warm his heart or soothe him the way that Kaoru's smile could. Nothing in the world could replace her in his heart. He hung his head so that he sopping bangs covered his eyes which were beginning to tear up. He gritted his teeth, hating himself for not being good enough for Kaoru. What had he been thinking? He would never be good enough for her. It was all just a dream, an illusion.  
  
His thoughts turned back to that old woman and her words to him. "You're wrong. I never be anything, but a killer." He cried out softly, pounding his fist into the muddy ground.  
  
In the distance he could just barely hear something through the overpowering roar of rain and the crash of thunder. He lifted his haunted eyes to stare through the swirls of water and he could not believe what he saw. It was Kaoru.  
  
She was standing there, with a flimsy umbrella soaking wet, looking as though she was about to die with sorrow. He watched, unable to move as she walked slowly up to him and collapsed at his feet.  
  
Kaoru gripped onto the bottom of his pant leg as though begging him. "Kenshin!...I'm so sorry..." she sobbed out.  
  
Kenshin stared at her in amazement. She was apologizing to him? Why would she do such a thing? Wasn't it him who had done everything wrong? Then he realized just what this meant. She didn't hate him. She was asking for him back.  
  
Gently he brought her into his arms wrapping her shaking frame in his arms, clutching him to her like she was a precious treasure. "Kaoru! I thought I'd lost you forever. Forgive me. I'm the one who's wronged you." he said, his voice shaking.  
  
Kaoru looked up into his violet eyes and reached a pale hand to trace the line of his scar. "I said such horrible things. I didn't mean them. I just..." she mumbled out. She carefully took one of his hands in her own and planted kisses on it as though she were pleading for forgiveness.  
  
Kenshin's eyes widened at her actions and he carefully lifted her chin so that she was staring right into his eyes again. She shifted her eyes away from his intense gaze that seemed to over power her. "Look at me." He said demandingly.  
  
Slowly she met his eyes again only to wince slightly.  
  
"Don't ever do that again. I don't want you to think that you're lower than me. I want us to be equals." He said seriously.  
  
Kaoru nodded at him, shivering once more from the cold. Kenshin smiled softly at her, pulling her closer. Gently he planted a soft kiss on her lips before he stood up, her still in his arms.  
  
"We need to get you back. You're soaking wet." Kenshin said, ignoring the fact that he was soaking wet too. He could take a lot more than she could.  
  
Kaoru nodded and he carefully scooped her up in his arms and began to run back to the dojo through the blinding rain. Shivering they arrived back to see Yahiko waiting for them anxiously. The tension in his face seemed to lessen when he saw them.  
  
"Kenshin! Kaoru!" he greeted happily.  
  
Kaoru sneezed and huddled closer to Kenshin.  
  
"Yahiko, can you please get some towels for Kaoru?" he asked bringing her to her room.  
  
Yahiko ran off to get some.  
  
Kenshin turned to Kaoru. "You should probably get out of those wet clothes, that you should."  
  
She nodded and he left her for a second so that she could change.  
  
Kenshin met up with Yahiko on the way to his room, where he was planning on changing out off his wet clothes.  
  
"So, you're staying here with us, right Kenshin?" Yahiko asked pensively, looking down at his feet.  
  
"Of course I am, Yahiko. Whatever gave you the idea that I wasn't! Once Kaoru and I are married..."  
  
Yahiko's eyes widened at that last part. "You and Kaoru are getting married!" he exclaimed.  
  
Kenshin laughed at the surprised look on the boy's face. "We haven't told you yet, have we?"  
  
He walked off leaving the 'little' boy there stunned. Kenshin smiled. Everything was back to how it should be. He stared down and his hands and clenched them softly.  
  
"Yukimura, wherever you are, I hope you're happy now." Kenshin said softly, as he changed. With one last look at his sword he left the room and went back to find his love.  
  
The End.  
  
~Author's Note: Yes, that's the end. I really didn't want to end it, that's why it took me so long to write this chapter. So I guess, yeah, that's all. Hope you liked it, and I hope you think the ending wasn't 'too' pathetic. 


End file.
